Cable #1 Comic Book Recap

My first thought upon seeing this comic book was that Cable looks mad fucking weird. Like when has he ever had a baby-face. Then I realized that this comic book, created by Gerry Duggan and Phil Noto, is about baby Cable.

Baby Cable is living on the mutant island of Krakoa and he fights other mutants for fun. These matches are refereed by the Silver Samurai.

The comic starts with him fighting his “Uncle Logan” in one of these mutant fight matches and for some unknown reason Kris Jenner is there cheering him on.

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Is that Kim next to Kris? Or did Khloe lose the blonde hair?

Cable is getting ready to celebrate with his gal pals, Armor and Pixie, when a little boy named Curse asks Cable to go save his friend, Fauna. Fauna is a little bitch who decided to cross the border of Krakoa and go into the side of the island that is filled with monsters. Why these mutants decided they should live on an island filled with monsters is not my fucking business, but they explain it anyone. The reason is that Krakoa ATE another island. Sure, we’ll go with that. I’m fine, are you guys fine? Islands eat islands. New Normal.

Within like one page Cable finds Curse’s friend Fuana, because the meat of this story must be here and not the missing kid. Pixie is like “you found him? Coolio I’m going to meet up with you, but also there’s a giant Lion Monster following me so watch out when I get there!

lion
soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.

Cable gets ready to fight this lion and starts throwing grenades at it, meanwhile Pixie decides to drug the little kid, Fauna with her magical “pixie dust” or “Molly” as it’s known here on Earth.

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“I can feel my hair growing”

Fauna says that the Lion is hurt and needs help, but Cable is like “you’re high, get out of here.” So Pixie flies him off while Armor runs in and tackles Cable and straddles him then begins talking about her feelings.

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Yeah, while a giant lion crushes you into the ground with it’s paw, THAT is the best time to discuss your relationship.

Despite Armor trying to distract Cable by any means necessary, he sees a piece of giant metal sticking out of the giant lion paw. He’s like we’ll pull it out and heal it and then the Lion will be our friend. Armor is like “okay, how do we get the lion to stand up and show us his paw?” That’s when Cable takes out a giant gun and shoots it into the Lion’s face. Yeah, kinda the opposite thing that ya’ll were going for, but that gun exploding in its face is what gets the Lion to fall down on it’s side and it is stunned long enough that Cable takes the metal out and heals the paw. 2 stones, 1 bird.

The metal piece turns out to be a magic sword, oooo.

The lion runs off because he’s like “They shoot me and then heal me? This clearly a toxic environment. I don’t want to be gas-lighted into thinking that because they say they’re sorry, it makes it okay that they shoot me in the face. I am a strong Independent Lion and I will be respected as such.”

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Purple blood? FABULOUS!

This sword sends Cable on a mushroom trip and he remembers all the battles the former owner fought. Then he passes out. His friends gather around him and Fauna is like, “did I get Cable killed?” And Armor is like, “It’s fine, we’ll make up a different story.”

WHAT THE FUCK. She was just straddling him and trying to bone him under a lion’s paw and now she could care less if he died right now.

Spoiler Alert, as if all of my recaps aren’t total and complete spoilers, Cable stirs awake and he’s like, “I have a new sword, yay!”

Cable shows it to his dad, Scott Summers AKA Cyclops, and Cyclops is like “you’re naughty going to Monster Island.” and Cable is like “But I have this sword. I wonder where it’s from?” Then Cyclops is like “Well, let’s let the writers create a whole new world in the next few panels.”

The sword is from space New York and these rude titan soldiers want it. SO! They’re going to go after Cable. Obviously.

THE END!

NOT!

There’s a few more pages. On a completely different planet or island or time idk which, Old Man Cable is shooting crabs with a large gun.

Now The End.

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Look, I’m old again!

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CABLE #1?

I thought it was pretty good. Great set up, great characters, violence, heroism, romance. This one’s got it all.

Except Cable’s best friend, Deadpool.

Keeping hope alive for a crossover. 

 

 

 

 

 

Cable #1

Do you guys love how clever I am with post titles??

Do you also love how I say “You guys” even though there’s only like one person reading this?!

In time. Yes, time. You guys will see.

N-E-WAYZ

I love Cable because he is best friends with my best friend, Deadpool.

bestfriends
Editor’s note: Deadpool’s stint as an X-Man came with a costume change.

So the time-displaced war hero and son of Cyclop’s and Jean Grey’s (clone?)  has traveled back in time to the 1800s in Arizona. Thank God he’s white! AMIRIGHT!?

From what I have learned from these first few pages is that a bunch of cliche robbers are sitting around a poker table in and old-timey saloon, as they were called in those days, and it’s a little weird because there’s a few dead bodies laying around them and everyone else who is alive is in a panic.

I think they need a hero.

And huzzah he has arrived!

cable

Dramatically…he enters dramatically.

Now, things get interesting. SO INTERESTING IN FACT, that these 1800s robbers/murderers have future laser guns!

HOW DID THEY GET THEM!?

I think we’re about to find out.

Well not this issue but perhaps next…

Cable beats these guys up and asks them questions about the guy who gave them the guns.

And apparently this guy can transport through time. At least it sounds that way since the guy he questioned said that he “vanished back inta thin air again.”

HRM????

BODYSLIDE BY TWO ANYONE!!? I will literally die if Cable is hunting Deadpool RN.

So Cable disappears in the same crop field the other guy disappeared into which for some reason transports him into Japan in 1543… IDK! I have so many questions…let’s read on.

Also this is great because it’s filled with so many determined Cable faces.

He meets a random Japanese woman, the only survivor (plus her infant son) of a deathly battle as he watches her village burn down. He promises to avenge her son and not her, which, I mean, is a little sexist.

He continues on his journey to find a group of Japanese warriors. He was clearly looking for them, I’m assuming these guys were the ones who burnt down the village.

Anyways they kick Cable’s arse with pixelated-future-fire swords and it does not look good for him…

I think my Deadpool theory is concluded, they would have definitely thrown him in the ending of the first issue if he was behind it, because that would like , triple the sales.

Cable usually has some more interesting friends to carry his story lines so it’s a risk to give him his own solo book. If you’re a big Cable fan you probably hate me for saying that, but my favorite characters are the funny ones or the dramatic ones. Cable is the type of guy you should marry. He’s stable and secure and knows what he wants, but girls still fuck around with the Clint Barton’s of the world. I think I need a second opinion to sell me on him before I go pick up #2.

 

Still love you Cable, mean it.