Hit-Girl #1 Comic Book Review

ERMERGERDD!!!!

HIT-GIRL IS BACK. I mean, I am excited that Kick-Ass is back, but, ya know, HIT-GIRL IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guyzzz, Hit-Girl is my hero. Like my favorite. I dressed up as her at a comic con one year and it was the best day of my life. (I also had a Kick-Ass, not pictured.)

 

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Madame Steal Yo Man

So you know this is serious now.

So, yes Mark Millar and John Romita Jr teamed up yet again for Kick-Ass, but only Mark Millar has his hand in Hit Girl.

Wow, I really could have worded that better.

Ricardo Lopez Ortiz is the artist of this run, and it looks like it’s only going to be a 4 issue run…

SO…

I was thinking…I will review every issue!!!!

SOUNDS GOOD?!

It does.

This art though, it’s perfect for Hit-Girl. SO gritty, it’s disturbing, it makes you feel uncomfortable while simultaneously amused, which is how you should feel when a little girl slices a grown man’s head off.

Okay, we’ll start now.

We are in Colombia. Or as the Colombians say it, CO-LOM-BI-YAH. Which is exactly how you all should say it. Because it’s right.

A murderous lunatic, Fabio Mendoza, is being sent to jail and the press is out there taking selfies with him and posting them to their ABC news grams. He was a part of a huge Colombian gang so his arrest is a huge deal to these peeps. It’s like when we killed Osama- if you’re an American anyway.

 

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The beach is that way.

 

He’s being taken to a maximum security jail in an armored truck, surrounded by several military soldiers. The tyres of the police escort have been shot out and allofasudden gas is filling the tank that is holding Fabio.

Some other soldiers pop into the tank to see what’s up and they find that Fabio has escaped.

But really he was captured by Mindy.

 

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The LOL lock. MUST HAVE.

 

Mindy is the mother-fucking shit.

Meanwhile, the gang lord that Fabio worked for is celebrating with his crusty gang friends.

One month previously, Mindy is hanging out in Pittsburgh trying out some new partners. She tells the boy that she’s brought along and dressed up in a Kick-Ass costume, what their plan is to take down some thugs, but unfortunately, the little boy isn’t down and decides to call his mom to pick him up instead. Hit-Girl carries out the mission herself and later heads back to her headquarters.

 

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Just cause you’re into the hobbit and harry potter doesn’t mean you can’t love comic books too. BE A ROUNDED NERD!

 

She gets a vision/ghost visit from her father, Big Daddy, who tells her that fighting crime is no fun on your own. She agrees and quickly gets an idea and we’re back in Colombia.

Mindy was asked by a little Colombian lady to come to Colombia to take down some thugs. But Mindy decides she wants Fabio to be her partner, despite his obvious flaws.

Fabio doesn’t want to partner up with her, luckily she is prepared.

She tied up someone he knows and blows him up right in front of Fabio and lets Fabio know that the same wraps around that guy’s arms are around Fabio’s arms and the controller for those bombs are in the hands of a little Colombian lady who asked for her help and is watching them live on camera right now.

 

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WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

 

Spooky.

Fabio decides to live another day and partner up with Mindy. Even though first he admits to knowing who she is and questions why she would need him.

She answers that he knows the ins and outs of this world, so he’s basically her research, but she adds that she gets lonely.

Awww. baby.

Mindy leads Fabio to a room full of guns and they arm up to take down the “perros.”

 

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How does she hold all of those heavy weapons?? We shall never know.

 

I guess we’ll see next week how it goessssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY HIT-GIRL!

Everyone should please please please buy this comic. We must let the comic book overlords know that we love Mindy and want to see her all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 stars!

A million stars!

ALL THE STARS!!!!!!!

Gratuitous violence, female-led, and an overwhelming sense of chaos at every corner. Please and thank you, Jesus.

 

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