Spider-Girls #1 comic book recap

OOOOO WEEEEEEE!!!!!!

I picked up a Marvel comic book!

And once I cracked it open, I realized I had no idea what was going on in it because it apparently takes place after a series I am currently not reading, Spider-Geddon #2. SO if you are reading the Spider-Geddon you already know more than me about these Spider-Girls. But I don’t care and I shall plow through this comic book recap with the confidence of a white man.

This comic book is written by Jody Houser. The cover artist is Yasmine Putri…there may be variant cover, but this is the one I got!

Anyways the “Spider-Girls” in this comic book are as follows: May “Mayday” Parker AKA Spider-Woman Earth-982, Anya Corazon (Spider-Girl) and Annie May Parker (Spiderling). Their names are all so similar it is annoying but we will power through! …..With the confidence of white men.

It is briefly explained to us that May and Anya are working on a way to defeat these Spider-eating beings called “Inheritors.” IDK. Apparently it’s a thing. And all these different earths and realities and universes really confuse me, too. Anyways, the two Spider-Girls are lyke “we have to travel to this Earth-Universe-Reality thing that hasn’t been attacked by the Inheritors and find out why.

Which leads us to Annie’s reality. Where she and her father, Spider-Man and her mother, Mary-Jane all fight crime together. Annie has this interesting spider power where she has an extra special spider-sense that allows her to see visions.

Annie, MJ, and Peter are swinging around the city fighting a gang of Vulture kids. They easily take them out and Annie is like monologuing this whole time about how she has a “suped-up spider-sense and she’s been a hero practically her whole life. Um brag much?

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Why does she wear a purse?

Then Peter makes a terrible Wolverine-based “joke”- and I say “joke” because it wasn’t funny, but for some reason it is later referred to as a joke so that is why it needs the quotes.

Anyways after the “joke” Annie blacks out for a second and nearly falls to her death. Luckily her dad is able to scoop her up. They head home to figure out what is making Annie blackout.

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You should write for shouts and murmurs

Anya and May show up in Earth-18119 and Anya immediately remarks that they beat the Inheritors here so that is good. And also that the Spider or Spiders on this Earth, have a deep connection to the “Web of Life.”

The Spider-Girls are having a time enjoying New York City and taking it all in before it is inevitably destroyed like every other NYC the Inheritors have been through. While they’re checking the place out they see a giant image of the family of spiders. And then Anya makes some weird ass comment.

Anya: A whole family of spiders? But that doesn’t look like you! Mayday, are you okay?

And May day is like “yeah I’m totallyyy fine.” But she lyke, is not fine.

BACK AT THE HOME OF THE SPIDERS

Annie’s parents are concerned about her blackouts. And she’s being a defiant little snob. She must be a teenager because she is annoying. Her parents are like “take a break from the superhero routine.” And she’s all “no way, I had a vision that something bad is coming and I need to protect people.” Vomit.

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bad news ur dad is a creep

Also why the heck does Peter Parker have a teenage daughter and still look 18?

Allofasudden she has another vision and she tells her parents to suit up because some shit is going down.

Next scene Anya and May are taking down more vultures. They knock them out and keep swinging, when May falls out of the sky, similarly to how Annie fell out earlier. She falls on a roof so she’s fine, but then this huge Vulture man pops up.

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You aint squashed a damn thing, vulture and you know it!

But before they can fight him, the Spider family shows up to save the day. They immediately decide to team up and they beat the shit out of everybody.

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THWIP! THWAP! THWOP!

After the fight they do introductions and MJ nearly starts crying when she finds out May’s name. Because I guess that her first born died and her name was Mayday Parker. So…WEIRD.

They all head back to the Spider family’s home and Anya and May let them know about the Inheritors.

Anya takes out these spider scrolls she has been carrying around like a yoga mat all day long and Annie is like “This shit is fucking with my visions, hoe.”

And they’re all “Visions? Whhaaa?”

And Annie is like “omg pay attention.”

May is like “Well this means this is the hoe we lookin for because she has a connection to the scrolls.”

Annie is like “I ain’t a hoe.”

Then Mary Jane hides in a  corner and cries and Annie is like “what’s wrong mom, is it weird that your dead alternate daughter is alive and here in your house?”

LIKE, OBVIOUSLY THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG, ANNIE!

Then immediately, Peter and MJ decide to join the Inheritor war in the alternate dimensions, meanwhile they’re just gonna leave their teenage daughter alone in this reality with these two strangers they literally met an hour before and try to figure out some fucking “mystical scrolls!” What sort of parents are these???

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someone call social services

What did ya’ll think of Spider-Girls #1?

I thought it was cute. It seems like it’s going to be a nice, fun read which will be a nice break from the dramatic shit I am currently watching and reading now. Like The Haunting of Hill House. OMFG. That show is the spookiest thing I’ve seen all year. But now I have a nice little comic book to chill me out after screaming for an hour every episode, so that is nice.

 

Deadpool: Back in Black

Yup. As it turns out Peter Parker’s pesky alien symbiote has taken another lover. In this lovely comic we are whisked back to the 80s and find out that Deadpool rocked the black costume WAY BEFORE or at least ya know, right before, Peter Parker did. Deadpool is cool like that.

Our story begins where Peter and alien symbiote’s ended. Peter Parker is crying under that bell like a little…buhhh—spider. And the symbiote is like “this dude’s a p*ssy I got getta the eff out of here.” So the alien takes Peter away from the bell and hides under the floorboards waiting for another host in a church cause he’s like “I’m DONE hanging out with that guy.”

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He finds a way nicer friend.

He soon finds love with a kind janitor who feeds him his dead wife’s stale candy. BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE’S A SPACESHIP. His alien family bombs the church, so he saves his janitor friend from the explosion by wrapping his body around the old man saving him! The aliens descend from the ship looking like an 80s rock band. All of this basically pushes the janitor into having a stroke. AND HE DIDN’T TAKE HIS DAMN PILLS THIS MORNING. ARE YOU CRYING BECAUSE I’M SOBBING!! He said “I j-just didn’t think I would be attacked by aliens today.” SOBBING. THE OLD JANITOR WITH THE DEAD WIFE WHO BEFRIENDED AN ALIEN IS GONNA DIE FROM A STROKE!!! I CAN’T.

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If you are not crying right now you have no soul

Meanwhile, the alien has to find someone to bond to it and we catch up with Deadpool and Machine Man who are at a club and Machine Man is being mind-controlled or something. Idk. I just got here too.

Also, Deadpool gouged out his own eyes so there’s that. Must have something to do with the mind control. Like a Medusa but with minds thing. The symbiote is chilling in the rafters above the club while Deadpool blindly dodges Machine Man’s uncontrollable blasts.

A bunch of dudes in hoods are at the club, and they’re white guys so you know they’re up to something. Deadpool takes out his guns and shoots them using his “sense of smell” since he doesn’t have eye sight. He manages to miss every single one of these naz–uh whoever these guys are, so he just throws his gun at them. GOOD PLAN B.

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This bitch.

Deadpool’s eyes start to heal and grow back as Machine Man pulls him into Dansen Macabre’s mind-controlling gaze.

Luckily our symbiote comes to our hero’s rescue. Is Deadpool our hero? Or is the alien? I really liked that janitor….

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Brains? Does Machine Man have organs?

Deadpool + symbiote almost kills Machine Man, but stops himself and turns his attention on the white guys in hoods.

With the help of his symbiote suit, he is able to conjure out many black tentacles in which to grab several guns and shoot everyone who surrounds him.

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Deadpool in the middle of every POC’s nightmare

But this power that Deadpool is feeling is not a new feeling he remembers an old mission in which he found the symbiote which he hoped would improve his costume.

But it was lyke, ya know, an alien so he decided to pawn it off on Spider-Man instead. Deadpool believes that suit imprinted on him and found his way back to him…Deadpool gains web shooting powers and he is very excited that he is able to “thwip” now.

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Not every little boy’s first reaction.

Also there was some statue there I forgot to mention. I guess it was worth money and Deadpool wanted to sell it, but Machine Man didn’t because it belonged in a museum or something. So Deadpool leaves the statue next to a passed out Machine Man to protect. Luckily he wakes up before it gets stolen again. SPOILER. oh. I should have said that first.

ANYWAYZ the aliens who blew up the church are still looking for the symbiote and they catch on to his scent and find out that he’s playing “super hero” again. HAHAHAHA NO. THESE BITCHES DON’T EVEN KNOW. He’s playing “mentally ill mercenary who likes to kill people and can’t be killed.” That game is way more fun. It’s like he was playing apples to apples which is mad fun but now he’s playing cards against humanity.

Oh Deadpool, will you ever disappoint me? Is it possible you could? No, No you could not.

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FAV!!

Deadpool Too Soon?

The cover in this book is jam-packed with D-List heroes from the Marvel Universe. Only Deadpool (whataguy) could sell a comic book with Spider-Ham and Forbush Man on the cover.

The book begins with Squirrel Girl just singing along on her bike in the annoying way she does. Do you guys like the squirrel girl comic books? Because she just annoys the crap out of me. I read one thing of hers and no thank you, that was not for me.

The first few pages basically introduce the cast of characters that we have in this story. So far it’s Squirrel Girl, Spider-Ham, The Punisher, Ant-Man (who I love, secretly), Howard the Duck (?), and Forbush Man. Fun Fact: I had no idea who Forbush Man was before this comic book was created. And I am happy that I was able to live such a long beautiful life before knowing this character existed. HOW HIGH WAS THIS CREATOR!? Clearly this person was not using the good stuff.

These characters have all gathered in a haunted mansion’s living room. Squirrel Girl introduces herself by saying she eats nuts and kicks butts. This girl is popular for all the wrong reasons.

THEN Spider-Ham asks the crowd if they know what “defenestrate” means and I had to google it and it means to throw someone out of a window. Amazing. There is a beautiful word for everything in the world. One day I hope to be clever enough to use that word in a sentence.

Oh hey! Rocket and Groot show up out of nowhere and so dramatically that they basically make Howard the Duck shit his pants. Rude.

Finally Deadpool enters with his wife, Death. As it turns out someone had been blackmailing all of these heroes to show up to this location and it doesn’t take a detective to solve the mystery of who it was.

Deadpool. It was Deadpool.

Maybe it was Ryan Reynolds. Also an acceptable answer.

Where does Ryan Reynolds end and Deadpool begin? It’s like Daniel Radcliffe with Harry Potter. The casting is just TOO good.

Anyways, once the D-list heroes find out that Deadpool is the blackmailer they proceed to beat him up. Marvel heroes got issues, mane.

So why did Deadpool blackmail all of these heroes and bring them to this spooky mansion?

WHY FOR HIS CHRISTMAS CARD OF COURSE! Duh!

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Chimichanga does not do the same thing to your face cheese does for pictures just sayin’

As soon as the lights come back on, it seems someone has committed murder. But it’s just the decapitation of Forbush man. BUT ALAS WE HAVE A MYSTERY ON OUR HANDS.

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Literally a stove-top pot on his head.

A classic whodunit?!

Clue meets Ten Little Indians.

I had to read this one about three times before I started to appreciate it and I am going to buy the next issue because I have a feeling the murderer was the squirrel. Not Squirrel Girl, but the actual squirrel she walks around with. They got me with the “solve the mystery” tactic. So, have you read this comic? And if so, who do you guys think it is?!

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Guilty Squirrel

Spider-Men II

Sorry to all my millions of fans for this long hiatus, my life changed dramatically, but what didn’t change is my love for comic books so I’m back now and ready for action. And as promised that last time I wrote, I have more Spider-Man to talk about. This time we’ve got a team up from alternate worlds! It is the Peter Parker and Miles Morales team-up of the century!! This story begins with both of them having been tied up and hung upside down together. I have no idea what they did to get themselves into this mess, but they must be dealing with some very nice criminals to spare their lives like that. Miles saves the day by performing one of his “mega venom” blasts. Unfortunately, the criminals just barely get away on their jet plane and Peter blames Miles for this. What a jerk.

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Miles has the better costume so Peter can eat dirt

Oooo, so this book is one of those look what’s happened and let’s keep you on a string and then we’ll go back and tell you how this happened. Sounds good to me. I love that storytelling trick. I mean, there’s only about two ways to start a comic book if you really think about it.

So now that we’re in the story we begin with Peter doing a quick computer search looking for Miles Morales, the one from his universe that is. Because Miles Morales actually lives in a different universe from the Peter Parker we know, and in Miles’ universe Spider-Man was killed and so Miles decided “Hey, I can do that. Honor his memory and kick butt and whatnot, plus I’ll get a cooler costume.” BUT in alive Peter’s universe he wants to know if Miles exists there. And I think he does, because the next page Miles is rushing into class ten minutes late with a freshly printed term paper in hand. Printers are so annoying and unreliable. When will we stop cloning sheep and start making printers not suck?!

But I digress…

Now that Miles is safe in class, Peter is in danger fighting some huge armadillo. Yes. A huge armadillo. Something along the lines of “Armadillo-man.” I don’t know. I would make more fun of this, except that Peter seems to be very self-aware of the joke of a criminal he’s fighting against and pokes fun at him the whole time.

FLASH to Miles. He notices a girl from his class for the first time. As if he’s seeing the world with fresh eyes. As it turns out Miles has known her all year and only noticed her today because she wore a pink hat. Cute. But isn’t that how it goes? One day you look at someone and you’re like hmph, I never realized this person is attractive. Especially when you’re preoccupied with saving the world on a near-daily basis.

Suddenly a giant iron ball falls in the middle of Miles’ campus and interrupts his conversation with “Barbara.” He swings into action and meets up with Peter on a building in the city immediately. They follow the iron balls into a warehouse, a familiar warehouse. It’s the warehouse where they first met. Because Mysterio was going in and out of universes and then apparently the universe they’re now in is the universe of all universes. I don’t know but I’m just going to nod along and pretend I know what they’re talking about.

Why do these writers even bother coming up with these crazy ideas? Let’s just accept the fact that Superheroes don’t die and don’t age and be happy. Stop making up crazy universes and moving mutants through time. Or don’t. Actually definitely don’t. I feel smart when I talk to people about this kind of stuff in comic books because it confuses them. I TRICKED THEM ALL.

WOW! You guys should buy this comic book, the taskmaster just showed up to smoosh these little spiders.

THEN….

SOMEWHERE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE…

An all grown-up Miles Morales comes back home to his mansion from walking his little fluffy puppy and a lady in a white dress tells him that he’s got to go to New York because the Taskmaster just showed up. And Miles, with his scarred up, “I’ve seen it all” face, is not too pleased with this development.

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I fink u fweeky n i like u a lot

This was a good one. Two good characters team-up, one that’s really funny and one that has girl drama, it’s the perfect buddy-cop scenario. It’s also funny that they have the same name. Not knowing who is talking to whom will be RIPE for hijinks to ensue. “Hey Spider-man, not you, Spider-man!”

I can tell I’m gonna like this one. I bet their going to have a falling out and not be friends and try to solve the case on their own, and then they’re going to be friends again and team-up to save the day. If I’m right, everyone owes me $1.

Dead no more : The clone conspiracy

This #1 issue is an “Amazing Spider-Man” special event that you’ve probably already read, and if you haven’t, I’ll let you know if you should pick it up.

Wow. That sounded presumptuous. 

In this universe Peter Parker has his own business called Parker industries and “has offices around the world and San Francisco.” This I got straight from the introduction… Why San Francisco doesn’t count as part of “the world” we may never know

The story begins with the funeral of Jay Jameson and Peter is brooding in the corner thinking of all the people in his life whom he has lost. Jay Jameson is the father of J.Jonah Jameson and was the second? Third? (did she ever marry doc ock?)  husband of Peter’s Aunt May. As Peter reminisces about all the people he has had a hand in their death of, Peter reminds himself that Jay was old and died of natural causes. That is until J. Jonah Jameson calls him out and says Peter talked Jay out of using a new science experiment that would have saved his life. Damn. Peter Parker sort of kills a lot of people. Must be his karma for never killing bad guys.

Long story short he talked him out of the procedure because he knew one guy who got it and his Spidey sense went off when he shook his hand. THAT WAS IT.

Great job, Parker.

Peter also has a new sidekick and she is a little person and they decide to pay a visit to the guy who had the procedure to get some closure. Boy, this closure is immediate. There is already trouble. The guy, Jerry, has been abducted and his wife fears she won’t get him back. Apparently Jerry didn’t take his daily pills and had a meltdown. Literally of cellular degradation. Cute. So now Parker and his little friend, Anna Maria Marconi, are on the case. As they drive away Peter’s spidey senses fail him as there is a shadowed figure hanging out by a tree in front of Jerry’s house, and the figure has claws. I should mention that.

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WHO DAT!?

Okay, next up, they head over to New U Headquarters which is… IN SAN FRANCISCO.

I get it now.

What I like about Spider-Man’s adventures is that at the end of the day he is a scientist and an inventor. He has brand new web shooters that can cut through steel, he has spider-bugs that can trace his enemies, and he’s always experimenting on something he found from a crime scene. Such a good detective. First he’ll find you, then he’ll kick your ass.

Spidey breaks into New U and tracks down Jerry. He finds Jerry and he also finds who is behind this company. It is Dr. Miles Warren AKA the Jackal, and he’s bad ‘cause he clones people. In fact he cloned the Rhino’s wife so now the Rhino is indebted to him, and he cloned some chick who kissed Electro and then got his powers. FROM A KISS. Is this a Rogue clone? Like, I need more of an explanation, please. Why am I telling you about Rhino and Electro? Oh because they work for The Jackal and are currently fighting Spider-Man.

Spidey takes these two down easily and runs after The Jackal. Only to come face-to-face with everyone’s favorite clone, Gwen Stacy. And then everyone’s least favorite clone, Doc Ock. He’s everyone’s least favorite now that we know he exists, that is.

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That seems a bit uncomfortable

The End.

Now of course there is a bonus story at the end. This time we are treated to an account of what happened the night Gwen Stacy died from her POV. Oooo. Peter Parker is not a good boyfriend. That’s for sure. He’s left her waiting in his apartment because he’s out with better things to do then keeping plans with his girlfriend. SO rude. Luckily, Gwen doesn’t have to worry about making alternate plans because the Green Goblin smashes in through her window and kidnaps her and drugs her and leaves her on the top of a bridge. But remember this is Gwen’s POV, so she’s drugged, but she’s still conscious. She just can’t move her body. She’s watching the fight go on between GG and Spider-Man and she realizes it is Peter because the Goblin keeps calling him Parker. She’s not happy about this realization because she blames Spider-Man for her father’s death. Healthy. 

Gwen is knocked off the bridge by the Green Goblin, as the story goes, and Spider-Man’s web seizes her leg and her neck snaps. Which is weird. Is it because her body was so relaxed? Because don’t they say things like that happened when you tense up? Because you know what’s coming? That’s why so many drunk drivers survive accidents and their sober passengers don’t because the drunk people are all loosey-goosey while the sober people are like FUCK. It’s like when I yank my boyfriend around while he’s sleeping to make it stop snoring. Should I be worried that I may just snap his neck one day? He does complain of soreness a lot… IS THERE A DOCTOR READING THIS THAT CAN TELL ME!?

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THE DRAMA

So, Gwen dies from her snapped neck, but luckily she is scooped up by the Jackal and she awakes in a tube. Zombie Gwen. But she is healthy and so far she hasn’t said anything about brains. She decides to work for the Jackal because, I mean, what else is she going to do? She’s legally dead. Annnnddd it helped that the Jackal also has her dead father reanimated as well. So, Gwendolyn is reunited with the captain and then as we just saw gets reunited with her ex-boyfriend. Lotta bad vibes all around.

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FACT: East Coasters hate California

Spider-Man #1 – Master Plan

I have no idea what this book is going to be about as a I pick it up, but as I’m still riding that Spider-Man Homecoming high, I just don’t even care at this point, because if it has Spider-Man on it I want to get my hands on it!

The cover is classic Spidey web-slinging through the city with a masked goon behind him and there’s a menacing man in a black mask and a shnazzy hat in the background watching over him… ya know, menacingly. Menace. Menace. Now it just sounds and looks wrong right?

According to the intro, Peter Parker is still in high school, so I’m guessing this comic book is movie influenced. Them writers givin the people what they want. I get it. Like, if you saw that movie and loved it and decided hey, I’m going to start reading comic books and then you picked up something where he is damn near thirty and divorced you’d be like wha?

Okay, so after the first few pages you’re not going to believe this, but Spidey saves a car from these two burglars and he’s squatting on top of it in the alley while the owner runs up and calls him a, JUST GUESS! A MENACE. I write as I am reading and that slayed me. Oh, you don’t think that’s funny? You are wrong.

Anyways, Spider-Man is slinging through town stopping a butt-load of crimes, he’s definitely going to be late to the show he was heading towards. It’s literally crime after crime after crime so Peter decides to ask one of the goons what’s up, and it turns out every criminal in the english-speaking world (and some dutch) got anonymous tips to do their crimes all around the city…except…and thanks to Spidey’s special suit that has the internet for some reason…he realizes there are no crimes around Stark Tower.

BAM! That’s where he’s got to go.

Spider-Man can’t help but stop every crime he sees along the way though. That is so classic Spider-Man, but I never realized how annoying that is about him. Like, let some shit go. If Aunt May told you to meet her at 7pm for dinner, meet her at 7pm for dinner don’t go around following that spidey-sense of yours until 8:15, old ladies can’t eat that late!

Spider-Man finally makes it to Stark Tower and he IMMEDIATELY finds the bandit. The bad guy was legit on the same floor that Spider-Man lept into. How many floors are in that place? And how lucky are you to hop in through the exact window that faces a Stark vault? How well does this spidey-sense of his really work? And do you remember my Superior Spider-Man recap?! If you don’t, Black Widow downloaded his p owers so they could be copied and gave them to S.H.I.E.L.D.! Are you feeling the same anxiety I am feeling, yet??

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Hmmm…maybe there’s nothing to worry about after all.

Spidey battles Crime Master, as we all scratch our heads and wonder how Stark Tower could be left so heavily unguarded that one nerd wearing, in what I can only imagine is, a sock on his head, could break in followed by a guy dressed in bright red and blue pajamas and nobody bats an eyelash. Iron Man? Nowhere to be seen. Happy? Not around. The Avengers? Nope! Maybe they’re in space! Who knows!?

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sock face

Peter ends up missing the show he wanted to see and already bought the ticket for, and this makes me really sad. He keeps talking about “looking at the bright side” through his disappointment as he slumps away with the most disappointed of faces and I want to burst into tears. I just want this little boy to have a normal life! Does anyone care?!

Then he saves a cat in a tree and gets insulted by a fat kid.

AND THAT’S HOW THEY ENDED THE COMIC!

Seriously. We got trolled.

Thankfully they peppered in an extra little story with an excerpted reprint of when the original Spider-Man fought the vulture in 1963.

I won’t bore you with the details, but at the end of the issue Peter sells his Vulture/Spider-Man battle photos to J.Jonah Jameson for a crap ton of money. So much money, in fact, that he pays the rent on his Aunt May’s place in Queens for an entire year.

I have decided I would like to get into the business of photography now that this information has become available to me. 

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Can I take some pics of you? It’s for my spank-ba…I mean the school newspaper.

 

Spider-Man Homecoming

Just got back from seeing the new Spider-Man movie. I was not planning on seeing it, but somehow I was pulled in.

I wanted to protest this movie for several reasons, A) there’s too many superhero movies B) There’s too many Spider-man movies C) I’m not in it.

So a little more background on why I didn’t necessarily want to give in and see this movie is because of the civil war movie where he is introduced… See, I’m still pretty upset about the timeline, because as we all know that during the actual superhero civil war Peter Parker was a 27 year old married science teacher. Not a sophomore in high school.

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So basically half of my life so far…

Other than that I didn’t hate it. Here’s some things I loved. I loved how diverse the cast was. There were Asians and black kids and I think Flash Thompson was Indian! I loved that Donald Glover was in it for a hot second! Too bad he wasn’t cast as Spider-Man and instead was technically “The Prowler.” They really threw that “Prowler” thing in just to name drop. He really didn’t do anything Prowler-y and I don’t  think they’re saving this character for a sequel. Kind of a waste to throw that character down the toilet, IMHO.

ALSO they were calling Zendaya “Michelle” Um no, her name is Mary-Jane mother fucking Watson.

I loved that Liz Allen was black and that Peter’s best friend was umm…Filipino? I think… I’m pretty sure that character was based on Miles Morales’ best friend, so I let this slide as well. He was a great character addition, the guy in the chair. He won my heart. However, we all know Peter didn’t have any friends in high school. Zero. Real, real  big nerd. He was almost a nerd in a creepy way, too. In movies he’s portrayed as a lovable smart guy, but honestly in the original books he was a definite spaz until he went to college and got hot. Also Aunt May in the movie was hot. That’s not the aunt May we know and love. There was a lot I had to get on board with which angers my nerd heart. In this case I was into it because SOMETIMES I think movies can be a second chance for comic books where they went wrong. 

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Why would Peter want to hang out with these jerks anyway?

SPOILERS AHOY

These magical writers were able to tie in that Liz Allen’s dad was the Vulture the whole time. That would mean that Adrian Toomes and his wife were pretty progressive in giving their daughter the mom’s maiden name or they are messing around with a character’s real name again a la this “Michelle” BS.

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Geriatric Super Villain

This movie made the vulture cool, which I never thought would be possible. But my nerd heart was happy because the Vulture was the first major villain that Peter ever fought so it was really fitting for our high-school boy to take on this guy in his coming out movie! Okay, I really felt for the Vulture, too. He was a nice guy. I loved his super villain backstory of just being a working-class guy trying to make a living for his family who keeps getting screwed over by the man. What makes someone a bad person is all about perspective really. Like, he never meant his friend to turn into dust when he shot him with that gun, that was just an accident he took really well and nobody around him remotely cared about. 

Happy and Iron Man were heavily prevalent in the film since Marvel is doing cross-over to death. They really showed how green Peter Parker really is. Like when one of Iron Man’s drones saved Peter’s life. (THANK GOD!) Or when the real Iron Man saved a Staten Island Ferry that had been cut in half by the vulture and his Chitauri weapons. Tony Stark really tries to “dad” it up in this movie and he does an amazing job because in the end Peter Parker really grows up and morphs into one entity.

All in all the movie earns an A from me. The action scenes were incredible, the villain was super powerful and intimidating, the cast was culturally so diverse, it was kind of funny and then of course… THEY THREW IN THIS LITTLE GEM

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Love you Spidey.

And I sort of understand the Homecoming title now.