Star Girl 2

Ugh.

Here we go, again.

Spoiler: The show is still terrible. But we shall journey on.

We begin showing Pat the Robot again after the battle we had yesterday and Star Girl jumps on his back and rides him home. Not in a concupiscent way.

I just learned that word from Russel Brand.

Back at the scene of the crime the green leather dress man finds Star Girl’s burnt up student ID. She is dumb for bringing identification to a fight scene. Like wtf.

Back at Courtney and Pat’s garage they’re both pretty fucked up from the fight, and Pat decides to stick his finger in the open wound on Courtney’s head which is fine. Just add some hydrochlorine to that shit.

Pat tells Courtney about the Injustice League which was the group of bad guys who killed star man and hawk man and hawk girl, etc and Courtney is like, why would you move us to a town full of super villains, STRIPSEY! Finally Courtney is smart about something.

staff

We then get a new scene with a different family and some like 25 year old man walks into his parents room talk’em bout a noise he heard and thinks someone is inside. Why are you 25 living with your parents and also going into their bedroom when there’s a fucking noise? GO investigate it yourself.
ANYWAYS, the dad grabs a wand from a safe and ho-ho-ho look who broke in, it’s his old pal man in green dress and the first thing he says to him is WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING A GREEN DRESS. Like, thank you, SOMEONE agrees with me. I like this guy already.

Back with Courtney and Pat, it turns out one member of the justice league survived for a while, Hourman. But Hourman got killed when he tracked the injustice league to Nebraska and Stripsey was given the information to take them down.

The next day at breakfast, C and P show up with random head wounds so the mom is mildly concerned because she’s like “what happened” and they’re like “we both fell down the stairs.” and she’s like “I’m late for work. Bye.”

Later at school, Courtney takes the star-man uniform and sews it up in the sewing class and apparently she is a terrible sewer because she breaks every single machine as she goes.

Meanwhile, Pat joins a gym.

After school there is some sort of assembly for no apparent reason, but it is the perfect place for Brain Wave to match his burnt student ID with a random hoe. And he finds that random hoe and chases Courtney into a deserted hallway, like stay in a group Courtney, how fucking hard is that? Cause now this man who moonlights as an ugly drag queen just threatened to kill Courtney’s WT mom.

Next we have a scene where Courtney and Pat argue about being superheroes again and their face wounds magically disappear, then reappear in the next scene. OOOO. Spooky.

Well they have to save WT mom’s life now, so Pat Robot goes down to meet Brain Wave and gets his ass handed to him. Until Star Girl shows up in her new slutty costume and beats the shit out of Brain Wave. Brain Wave eventually gets the upper hand and pins star girl down so she can’t reach her staff. You know the staff with a mind of it’s own that can fly? So the staff literally just felt like resting. I guess? This show is not good.

Pat shines a light on Brain Wave and apparently that’s his weakness. I should have known because he was so damn pale!!

brain wave
How come your son is hot if you look like that?

The light gives Star Girl time to grab her staff and shoot him in the face.

He probably could have died but since they’re “heroes” they bring the guy to the hospital.

So they won! It’s over. Yay!

Nope, cue new bad guy rolling into town.

Some other old white guy walks into this random building and he goes to check on a beast that’s been kept locked up in a cage. For how long, I do not know. But if this Beast man is your friend like you’re pretending he is, you probably should let him out of his jail cell. Anyways I think this white dude is, Icicle, the one who killed Star Man and maybe is also the Senator? White people all look the same. I swear it’s just the actor who played Brain Wave with a brown wig on.

The End! Until next week. I wish Luke Wilson didn’t have such expensive taste but I must keep them egg rolls on his plate.

lukewilson